a fragment of your imagination

my bro and his KTM

2008-10-20T21:50:00.000-07:00

ENVY!!!!!
He got his bike license... i wana get mine soon...
and damn it!!! he's tall enough to ride a KTM!!!!! check out his baby... ok.. i dun have the original picture yet... but it looks something like this... :)

and bloody hell its nice orange!! i'm not tall enough!!! :( i dunnoe wad bike to ride...sob sob.. later cannot reach the floor how??

i realised... my classmates are damn fucking free!!!! got time to post on blog and all... put up their artwork.. make blog until so nice!!! damn it!!!

i need to do something like dat soon i guess... argh argh... hahahz :) God help and bless me... xp

my babies are in!!!

2008-10-20T01:29:00.000-07:00

WHOOOHOOO!!!!

my new wicked ones from states are in.. love love love them!!! check them out!!! pretty sweet aren't there... the white and black and the shiny finish... damn... can't bare to scrape them... argh... should i wear them for comp?? scared scared... precious babies... hahahz

its been so so long!!! just rambling...

2008-10-15T01:31:00.000-07:00

gosh... its been so long since i've posted in my blog... hahaz

well uni life damn stressful... xp but thank God I got in... if not for nigel and his mom trying to look for unis for me to go to... i wouldn't be here... :) His mom is like damn cool la.. got facebook, got msn, ... kns... and gave nigel the bmw for his 21st bday... hahaz... nice bwm 320i... nigel hasnt been speeding recently... dat's good... going to get my bike license soon... den can ride to school w my rider friends...

inline hockey has been.... hhmm... for me chill.. though i'm junior captain of the team... i realise i've been slacking my ass off... need to go for trainings le...almost recovered from my fractured toe... so yeah... can skate soon!!! competitions coming up... PYROS GO!!!! hahahaz...

nigel stays one level below me... but i sometimes bunk in w him... muahahz.. after the Genting trip and the MTV asia awards.... i think we're going HK this december... hehez... i'm paying my own.. "AUNTIE YOU'RE NOT PAYING FOR ME ANYMORE!!! PLS DON'T I FEEL DAMN BAD!!!!... nigel's mom has always been very nice... :) she everything also wana pay for me, school fees, everything... damn... his parents are damn cool la.. dad just paid for my avenge sevenfold concert tickets of which his parents are going also... come on... which parents go w their kids to maroon5, linkin park, and many other concerts... madness... hahaz.. his sister in in the states studying now.. i miss her... and weini... her mad friend... and her korean bf... i dunnoe if they are still together now or not... His brother nathaniel and gf kelly... hhmm... still young still young... hahahaz...

I miss the midnight shows we use to go w his parents and bro and all... damn... need to watch another show soon... EAGLE EYE was AMAZING!!! ryan will not beg to differ right ryan?? hahaz... yes yes ryan is nigel's classmate... gets paid to write his blog... (some people get all the luck) right ryan?? u better come read my blog... though its pretty boring sometimes.... hahahaz...

well first year in Uni has been pretty boring... first year... foundation year... do crap... shall upload some of the drawings and stuff dat i've done so far... still doesn't make sense...

after majoring film in NAFA i've decided to major in photography in NTU :D hehez... yeah... have met an amazing lot of friends here... some who are amazingly talented...

my wolves : Jane, Jasper, Yue han, Zen, Timothy, Su bing, Shi chun, Hui ling... hhmm...who else... i think i forgot someone.. hahaz.. oh well...
they gave me a wonderful 22 bday surprise... it was like 12 mdn.. i was cursing and swearing coz i had alot of work to do... zen called me out to collect his tools from me... i was like wtf... now?!?! den went to ADM hill... suddenly got mms showing me to follow the red light sticks... i found the light sticks up the hill... slowly as i walked up... the light stick formed "HAPPY" den walk further up "BIRTHDAY" den even higher "XANDRA" i was like... wtf.... den at the top of the hill... everyone was there!!! wolves with OGL w many many many more pple!!! gosh... they had cake and all!! was so touched... hahahz.. nigel was there too... damn it... i kena bluff... hahahaz

had been busy with hall stuff too... sianz...
have been jamming for hall activities.. performed w 1/2 of tealfault members... hahaz... chen and nigel... zelig was our drummer... i played the keyboards.. din dare to drum... hahahz... xp we played linkin park numb, maroon 5 this love, chad kroger Hero and viva la vida... and amazingly everyone sang the middle part.. we got the crowd moving man!!! Nigel is an awesome singer... doing a website up for him soon... dunnoe where it'll be yet... but since jerome is a sound engineer... we'll let him to the recording for their album... hahahz... and yesh yesh... who else but me to do the design and all for the band... argh...

i wonder what nathan and gabriel peters are doing right now.. poor guys were stuck in camp for like 3 weeks... police confinement... oh well... hahahz... hope they come out soon.. den can jam in nigel's studio...

hhmm... not too long ago adrian had his 21st bday party at his place... met a few of his SIM friends... which happened to be afew of my friends too... hahaz... i was the only girl again w the st pats boys at one table... adrian got dunked into the pool twice... (fool) hahaz.. got him drunk... xp (see la... if you wana compete w me drinking sure wun win wan!!) kidding... hey hey.. don't any how think k!!! i havent been clubbing and i intend to keep it that way :) tho i've stepped into zouk for a function... stupid adrian and his SIM pageant thingy...

hhhmm.... getting rachel w her charity gig organizing thingy... putting up tealfault in... hhmm... doing photography again for st pats concert this december (have yet to give them the photos for last year's hahahz) hhmm...

oh my ... so many things have happened... and so little time to write... shit.. need to do 4d work le... write again soon...
daniel i know u're reading this... how's japan... we miss you here..come back soon for a holiday...hahahz
Joel... coming back le.. i know!!!
hhmm....
and hi to you all... :)

here are some of my works btw

this is a praying mantis... i had to draw for Martin constable's foundation drawing class... damn i hate insects

this is a drawing of a photo i took w nicole and james... Martin din believe i took the bloody photo... damn it...

damn it... this is a stupid 3d thread exercise which i cursed and sweared over... very waste of time... *sigh*

:) Karma

2008-10-15T01:23:00.000-07:00

someone commented on my page, asking if i believed in Karma.... well no...
I don't... reason being, i believe in God...

and what God does is very fair and justified. No questions about that... lets not let religion come into play den...

lets say...
with regards to my post about doing unto others what you want others to do unto you...
if you use yourself as a guideline... what are you afraid of... if you don't do something you don't like to be done to you... i think that would be a fair thing.

So no i don't believe in karma... but if you're saying what goes around comes around... den not that i believe... but more like... if the same thing happened to you... you can't exactly blame anyone but yourself... coz who asked you to be such an arse to do something similar to others :)

God is fair, even though life may not be... but good things come to those who do good :)
so yeah... :)

Surprise at Sanctuary Indochine

2008-04-12T04:40:00.000-07:00

so i finally get to meet up with Karen, Teng Chung, Aravind, Jeremy,
Samantha and some of their other friends amanda and wyn(i think dat's
how you spell it) we had dinner at lucky plaza some indonesia food...
was oookkk... not too bad... should have tried the cat fish dat Aravind
recommended tho... hahaz anyways...

we went to sanctuary to chill, and have drinks and of course watch CATS
IN E CRADLE. during their first set, Jeffery wasn't there, there was
this other dude singing. Not too bad... but hey nothin beats the real
thing does it? So we had our 1 for 1 carlsberg, while i had my
hoegaarden (crap i dunnoe the spelling) and tried the singapore sling,
and long island tea, and... i forgot wad karen had... but we shared...

so me and Karen actually said, we wanted to make nigel sing on stage...
didn't know if CATS IN E CRADLE would allow that but yeah... no harm
trying right? when the 2nd set was going on, Jeffery read out our
request about askin nigel to sing on stage. He was like : you sure he
can really sing? give me $50 bucks, i will hold on to it first, if he
can sing, i will give it back to you. instinctively i scream ok. But
then nigel replied him saying dat he should get paid to go up and
sing... (wad a joke) so jeffery said, he'll buy us a jug if nigel can
really sing.

so here it is... :

Nigel went on stage... and sang... jeffery and his band were amazed...
they played 'won't go home without you' by maroon5... you guys should
have been there. The crowd was cheering, clapping and singing along
with him.

so after the 2nd set, jeffery did buy us a jug... *sigh* too full of
alcohol.. hahahz but we managed... the rest left at about 11.30pm while
me n nigel stayed on for the last set. coz we were waiting for his
parents to come pick us up.. hahaz cheaters rite? i know...

jeffery was tired from singing... kept asking nigel to go up and sing
for him... so did the bassist. (i'm sorry dude i dunnoe ur name) they
were like "nigel come up and sing leh...." hahaz... but nigel drank
long island tea la... sour... wasn't doing justice to his voice.. so he
declined... oh well... hahaz.. hmm... anyways... went back.. and i
stayed over at his place... had great fun...

Karen and friends... can't wait to do it again.. lets get nigel to sing
again k? hahahz....

I've been busy...

2008-04-09T05:28:00.002-07:00

wow, work and all.. ok... more of it is spending time with nigel...

darn how do you guys do it? blog almost every night... for me, its wake up, go to work, finish work at about 11.30am, head to nigel's place, chill, watch him play WOW, lie with him, play with him, jam with him, play with his dogs, nikki, paris and bubbles, run with him, den slack on the bed once again and watch movie with him... this happens everyday... gosh... but when he starts school cannot le... hahaz he's going to stay in hostels... hhm.. hope i get into ntu too... hahaz.. n i think probably i would need to stay in hostels too... coz too darn ass far la...

ok... i'm still at his place now.. going to watch a moive soon, just took like 10 secs of my time to post this... i realised i miss our 2nd anniversary.. nvm, third one will post again... hahaz...

always have a backup plan at hand... i like that...

2008-03-27T06:37:00.000-07:00

u know.. it makes sense... why not?
well... i've thought about it... and first is of course your own happiness... you choose if u wana be happy... so why let anything else pull you down rite?

as long as you're doing something you're happy.
be it with friends, doing things you like and stuff lidat...

Daniel!!!

hehez... waking up dude.. waking up...
now i know why u're still single and staying single

i thought love should be pure bliss...daniel u're right, its full of shit... hahaz

2008-03-27T02:37:00.001-07:00

well...
we just recently celebrated our 2nd month... wasn't easy...there were so many things i did wrong... so many things he didn't like... hhmm... maybe i'm just not a gd gf ahahz oh well..

tdy was my first day of work.
it was hell, was at clementi pri school.. waiting for the kids to arrive to measure their blood pressure. It was my first day also!! dat time of the month. initially i thought it was going to be ok. But at about 11am, i was feeling like i was in hell, sweating like mad, cramps to the extreme, i couldn't bare standing for 5 secs, breathing really heavily, i was shouting for help from inside my head. was feeling so bad so giddy so... argh.. i smsed my dad hoping he could fetch me, but its alright, he was busy, i smsed him... he was like pls try to go home and get some rest, tell your supervisor.

well you see i am working for National University Hospital, and we are doing a project on the average blood pressure of kids between 6 - 16 years of age. but anyways, i took a cab home 1/2 way thru, thank God my supervisor was a nice lady and she understood.

well all i can say is... sometimes i wish he cared more... hhmm... he told me not to think so much about it first... so so so wadi shall do is.... not bother so much about the relationship... hahaz... bother about it for wad rite? i mean.. i think so much also... not like its going to change anything... expect less den if u get more... den good lor rite? if dun get, my friends are still there.. hahaz yeah... ok... i guess dat's the way he wants things to go... den i dun exactly have a choice den...

one month anniversary...

2008-02-24T09:48:00.000-08:00

friday 22 feb
went out with the twins their gf's angela and ilena, and ben for dinner... went to upper east coast road for hokkien mee...
it was v v v v v nice yum yum... on top of that we had oyster with egg... heez.. *DROOLS* i like...
Ben was playing with the Digital SLR that his friend lent him. He played with the shutter speed and all. After which he showed the rest. It was a pretty amuzing sight. Multishot can really animate the freak out of you. We were seeing ourselves in slow motion frame by frame... hahahz...

After that i walked back home since it was so near and there was no buses. My baby was out at 'TIMBER' sure hope he was enjoying himself...

23RD FEB!!!!! OUR 1st MONTH!!!!
Couldn't wait to meet him in the afternoon. Went for hockey training today. hahaz...

My baby went to sleep when i needed to wake up. 6am plus. When he msged me saying that he was about to sleep and that he just reached back home... I kinda got a little upset. It was so late already. and i thought how would he be able to wake up the next day, and yet i was also concerned if he would have enough rest. I brushed aside me being upset. I told myself, as long as he's happy, he's enjoying himself, dat's all that matters to me.

So went training with the gang... met a new friend from np also called melvin. Took the train with him coz he was heading toward jurong (he stays there) while i was headed to farrer park to collect my hard disk from san.

I was pretty tired... so decided to cab down to my baby's place. He was still sleeping and it was almost 4pm already hahaz... and so i kinda took a nap too since i woke up so darn early, while he went to play WOW.

We had a BBQ to attend in the evening. Ben's last bbq at his house kinda thing. Cute reason to celebrate tho...coz he was moving house soon. So yeah, we drove there, and ate quite abit. The mom's XO chicken was AWESOME!!!!! Auntie i want somemore!!!!!!! hhaz... left the place at about 10.45 to tampines mall. Coz i wanted to cathc P.S I Love You...

I'm so sorry baby.. dat u didn't enjoy the show. I thought it was pretty sweet. Sad sweet show la... hahahz...but yeah... i'm so sorry baby. So after that we went back home. (His place) he surprised me with a gift. I was pretty shocked. I gave him mine in the after noon. Didn't expect anything from him. Coz i didn't give him anything for VDAY.

So about the gift. I was reading the note for it. I almost cried. It was the sweetest most lovely gift i've ever received!!!
Why he slept at 6am was coz he was folding the 23 straw hearts... he told me his hands were hurting after that. 23 straw hearts represent the date we started as a couple. Each heart is different, signifying that, even though we may have varying moods, our hearts will still stay the same and feel the same for each other.

30 black and 30 white pebbles representing the 30 days and nights we have been together... I was like... oh gosh... oh my, oh boy, i can't breathe.

baby, i wana tell you how much you mean to me. I know i've said alot of things to you... i'm sorry if my vocabulary is limited. But my feelings for you aren't. Words are never ever enough to explain or describe to you how much you've moved me, how happy you've made me, how luck i feel that i have you.

Every breath that i take now is for you, every second i live is for you. I've finally found the reason to make sure i'm in good health, coz i wana spend every breath that i have to see your face, to see you smile.

thank you Nigel...
You've much more than i can ever ask for, God has sent me and angel with wings to lift me up when i'm down, with a voice to bring life back into my soul and with a heart to tell me that i am who i am and i should be proud of who i am.

Happy 1st month my guardian angel...

Valentine's Day... very late post haha....

2008-02-20T01:01:00.000-08:00

Ok... so V day passed like way way back... I was too busy with my NTU portfolio. Now that i've finally submitted it, i am free!!!
So... yeah.. i had to do my portfolio on V day as well.. sad rite?!?!?

Met up with Nigel's brother Nathaniel, went shopping for Nigel's Vday gift... that was absolutely a horrid experience. We had completely no idea what to buy for him. We went round bugis etc etc but we didn't find anything.. i know i know... bad rite? hahaz...

So we headed back home empty handed... my sweetie was still slping... kinda surprised him by coming back with his bro... hahaz.. so after that we took a shower, changed got ready for dinner. He gave me a pretty pink rose...

didn't expect him to tho... coz it was really not necessary. He didn't even tell me where he made reservations till we reached... MEGUMI JAPANESE RESTAURANT! AWESOME JAPANESE FOOD!!!

Haha... check out the way they spelt his name muahahahz...
dat was a good laugh... we had an awesome...erm..dunnoe how many course meal..

didn't count. Had red wine... tho he was driving hahahz ooppss.... ssshhh.... after that i told him i wanted to get something for his bro... a little present for vday heez... so i said since it was like 9plus... lets try going to the airport... shops would still be open. He suggested tampines mall.. i was like, 'we can forget about going there coz by the time we reach most of the shops would have been closed'. He headed there anyways... i thought he was being stubborn... little did i know, that silly boy bought tickets for 'JUMPER'.... i was like WAD!?!?!? hahaz... the happy kinda 'what'... So yeah... enjoyed the movie...totally awesome, totally cool show... must watch.. hehez...

After that we went home... hahaz... like finally heez... after taking a shower and getting ready to slp, he whispered in my ear... said he had one last thing to give me... i was like huh?
He bought a little snow globe for me. ok... not exactly snow la... it was little hearts... and there was a pink cow inside... because of my 'achimoomoo' line hahaz... it was placed in a box, w three other glass bottles. 1st one had the word 'happy', 2nd one had 'valentine's' 3rd was 'from: nigel to: xandra''. Then there was a note from him as well...he has amazingly small and neat handwriting for a guy... cute... the box was a pretty colour too... heez...

that really made me feel bad for not getting him anything... nvm... 23rd Feb is our 1month.... i'm going to try to make it nice... hehez.. i hope i can...

So yeah... we kinda fell asleep for awhile... i woke up in the middle of the night...bored... i disturbed him hahahaz... i know... i irritating hahahz.. oh well.. enjoyed my day... and every single second with him... :)

erm.. i know i'm not suppose to say the 3words... erm erm erm... ok nvm.. i shall not... :)

sentosa with Adelle...

2008-01-30T00:18:00.000-08:00

Went to sentosa today... to get a bloody tan... too bad it was a little cloudy... so yeah... could only tan a little... shall go tan again on friday with Christie.

So the sun was nice in the morning.. decided to do a little cam whoring... coz i liked the glowy glowy thing from behind... hehe... nice rite? i look cool... i dun like to show alot of my face tho... just emo can le...

So met Adelle at Harbour front MRT station and 9am today... went over to sentosa... laid on the beach till 1pm. We were talking all sorts of nonsense. She was telling me how her trip to Pataya was... she said if i ever go there, i have to go watch the 'forbidden' show where its a one hour show, and they have sex in front of you on stage and all.. and the girls do weird and strange things with their... erm... you know... i was like 'uh?!?!? ' SICK but she just said... watch it once and its enough... for the experience. I am so going to go in a big group. With my Boyfriend.... never never be left alone... i'm scared of these kinda things.. hahahz weird right? so there... i look fat... hahahz...

Me and adelle, was waiting with her for her bus... hehez... so decided to take a picture... we nv did take a picture during our 4 year friendship :)

Daniel... wad's w you and ur comments.... hahaz i blur sia when i read it... its like Jesus speaking in parables... but of course u ain't Him :) But chill... don't make life so complex... hahahz simple can le...

my dearest daniel...

2008-01-29T07:03:00.000-08:00

i miss you... :) hehez...
thanks for your comment...
and yes it is wonderful... being with him...
this somehow feels different...

tho i'm rather unsure... i'm rather surprised coz its patient, and slow, its not like rushed like all the other bastards who just most probably wana be with me just to get into my pants.

But ya... i hope this works out well... i have no thought of losing this one... never... i'll do all dat it takes... I dun anyhow go into relationships... i go into it wanting it to last... don't we all? ok... i know some asses and b*tches don't. They just do it for fun...

I do not understand why the girls nv held on to him... i nv understood why they took him for granted. He's perfect daniel... heez... thanks for always being there daniel... i need to go visit you soon... hhmm.. maybe this year christmas... den got snow... will ask nigel along too k? heez...

Thanks for always reading my blog... hehez... tho i dun comment much about ur blog... but i always love reading it...

FOR NIGEL....
I LOVE THIS PICS AND I WANT THE WHOLE WORLD TO KNOW....
ok i'm crazy...
crazy in love w you hehehz..*blush blush*

who will it be?

2008-01-27T22:06:00.000-08:00

IF YOU TREAT EVERYONE THE SAME, THEN WHO DO YOU TREAT SPECIAL?

I was pondering about this question for quite some time now...
I was thinking about it...
coz a gf friend of mine told me... she felt sad... weird... scared... lost... she cried...

Her bf told her... that the girls he have dated, not dated, or wadever... he does the same with them as well as with her...
you know.. the usual BGR stuff...

So i asked her... if he treats everyone the same, then what difference would you make? So what if u're his gf? he still does the same with other girls... what difference does the status make?

But hey, what can i say about love right? You thread carefully, and make sure you are ready to get your heart broken...

I still think 'do unto others what you want others to do unto you' is an awesome guideline...
I so feel like asking her bf... would you feel good if your gf treated you the way she treated everyone else?
How would you feel? obviously being her bf, u'd wana be treated special, you'd want other guys to be envious of you and not think dat u're a fool coz you're receving the same treatment rite?

But anyways.. i thank God for nigel... i will trust in Him to lead the way...
God help me and be my guide... I've hurt enuff from all my past relationships.. this one seems perfect...

Anyways... 26th Jan.. Nigel's 21st bday... was awesome... Had an awesome turn out of about 50 pple... awesome performance in his studio... love his voice as always... his mom bought him an awesome delicious cake!!! $50 bucks per kg... it was 4kg...
But it tasted D-E-LICIOUS!!! i dunnoe if i have a picture or not... hahhaz... but i got a picture of him performing... the studio looked pretty awesome...

I gave nigel a surprise on the night of his bday... :) i know... i'm crazy... hahahz
25th jan night... after church at meritus mandarin hotel... i rushed to nigel's place... he was at his friend's party. I went to his room, and did a hell lot of sticking hahahz... i called him 12mdn and wished him happy birthday and told him i was at home.
After sticking everything, i waited for him to come back home... which was about 4 bloody am la... so obviously i fell asleep... but he got it... hehez...i'm glad he liked it... it was simple la... but i'm glad i managed to make him smile hehez... oh well...

oh oh oh... awhile back... his parents brought me too go try turtle soup... Honestly? I was freaking scared...ya i know the picture doesn't look dat bad... the soup was awesome.. it was the meat that i was freaked out and afraid to eat... but at the end of the day i did... I SURVIVED!!! Actually it wasn't dat bad la... tasted like fish... I'm refering to the meat... the organs were amazing as well... hahahz... didn't taste like anything i've ever eaten but it was awesome hahahz.. i did enjoy myself...

Thank you Uncle and Auntie for bring me such a wonderful experience... hahahz :)

Dates to remember... hahaz...
23rd Jan : Nigel whispered in my ear again... i agreed... he said i was his best 21st bday present... *sweet*

a surprise dat almost did not happen...

2008-01-13T21:09:00.000-08:00

Saturday morning...

plan was to go to roy's place to collect my guitar at 10am, meet nigelat 11am..
I canceled roy's place coz he slept at 5am dat morning so i wanted him to rest. thus decided to surprise nigel. To be at his place early and surprise him :)

so i decided to leave house at about 9.15, 9.30 am to be there at about 10.15am plus and wait till he leaves house.
As i was about to leave, i got a call from him. I initially asked him to call me when he's leaving. So i was like "SHIT!! He's leaving already???!" He called, and bloody hell asked me to open my gate. I was like WTH!!!! HE BEAT ME TO IT!!!! hahahz...

Dat was cute la... so we hung at my place before leaving for NYP to watch jeremy perform. :)

Evening was helping Joshua w his IS project. To organize an outing. We cycled hahahz... for like wad... 1/2 hour? and then ate so called a light dinner (coz we had dinner w nigel's parents before dat, and then nigel finally drove all the way to Jurong ahahhaz and hougang. So now he's got something more to boast about hahahz...

Reached back home at about 2.30am. We decided to watch Vacancy on nigel's lappie. It was not too bad a show. Interesting...
Decided to stay over since the next day i had to emcee for his aunt's god daughter's wedding. :)

Sweet dreams nigel...

the whisper in my ear...

2008-01-09T23:16:00.000-08:00

last night,
he whispered him my ear...
i think i'm falling for you...
last night...
that whisper...
i didn't know what to feel or say..
but i had the sweetest dreams ever

last night...
that whisper in my ear...
it was amazing...
I'll always remember
that whisper in my ear...

the stay over...

2008-01-09T20:59:00.000-08:00

i know i've been telling about how much i've been enjoying with nigel... sigh... i dunnoe what to believe... what to trust. I want to put my heart and soul into this but i'm afraid of it crumbling... *sigh sigh* love is a tough obstacle to overcome.

Went to nigel's place yesterday morning... idiot was still sleeping when i reached his place hahaz... so we had plans to meet ben and friends (edmund, weida, joshua, freeman. Justin was later) for lunch at some street in bugis for beef noodles... it wasn't too bad other than getting a little lost :)

Freeman was as funny as usual. crapping... laming... hahaz... miss that fella. After beef noodles we headed to town w Freeman to shop. He sure is Vain A|X, Levis... expensive taste sia... hahaz... Nigel got a little bored after awhile... me too :) in the midst of everything i realised i forgot to bring my meds... that was bad.... we rushed home by cab. (but you know how TAKA's taxi stands are... lloooooooonnnnnggggg...) so to and fro too us about 1/2 hr - 45 mins... and costed me $22.30 crap man... me and my carelessness... thank God for nigel being so bloody patient...

So after dat we were waiting for the rest of the gang to come. (Ian, Josiah, Royston and Tanya) We drove down to Toa Payoh and waited at macs... twister fries are back!!! hahaz love 'em!! So it was about 6.15pm when they reached. Initially we were suppose to eat at Sakura? some japanese restaurant for buffet. But since nigel's mom actually invited me for dinner we decided to each at sakae sushi. Me and nigel ordered v little and we were like playing Dai Dee over dinner...I WON!!! thanks to nigel's help hahahz... xp.

And so i paid for Royston's and Tanya's meal, while nigel paid for mine... damn we made a deal. Me and Nigel would take turns to pay for each other... Its damn cute la.. hahaz... and we're always insisting on who is paying next and i am always thinking cheap when its his turn to pay and expensive when its my turn to pay hahahz...

So we went back for dinner... waited for his mom to get the car back. wanted to buy cheesecake for his mom... hhmm... but but but when she got it back it was like ten? coffee bean would have been closed if we went down. Wanted to get the raspberry cheesecake for her.. i loved it too heez... sweet sweet yummy yummy!!!.

So we watch I AM LEGEND first... then decided to buy cheesecake from cheesecake cafe... rum and rasin rocks!!! Nigel was singing his heart out while driving to cheesecake cafe... hahaz.. i was just singing softly heez... shy la... i love his voice. Every time he sings... it makes me smile... i feel happy, i just am so in love w it... He's got an amazing voice.. He was telling me how someone hates his voice... how can anyone hate his voice?!?! hahaz...

So bought the cheesecake, went back home, realised his mom was already sleeping.So we watched another 2 movies... bee movie and hairspray... hahaz... we got hungry, was deciding on supper outside or macs... felt lazy so macs it was... hahaz thank God he got me something to change into... if not i would have been so uncomfortable w jeans... hahaz... was wearing RJC's shirt and shorts...

gosh... oh well...

and meet paris... the little white schnauzer... she's adorably cute... hehezz... everyone will love her hahaz... oh well...

RANDOM!!! check out the pattern my hairstylist tried on my hair... hahaz... he was like can i try to shave this pattern? i was like ok go ahead.. :)

slowy does it...

2008-01-07T02:53:00.000-08:00

ok... so i see nigel almost everyday now...

He's oh so so great and i can't get my mind off him... Did i mention he sings really really really awesomely well! Gosh dat voice!!! *blush blush*

He showed me some of his gigs when i was at his house yesterday night... this boy can really sing and person :) hahaz..
He's cute...

Anyways... my cousin's wedding just passed... nigel got invited to the church wedding and then my aunt did not give him a choice but to also attend the dinner. I was in a dress... can you imagine? no rite? i know... sigh...hahaz so here goes, this is how i look like in a bloody dress...

wadya thing? hahaz... nigel was w me at the dinner sitting w me at the VIP table... hahaz...

weddings are amazing... so full of happiness and love... my bro was wearing the exact same thing as wad he wore during his prom... except for the mohawk hahahz now in ns...got mohawk sure die wan... hahaz...

oh well... pet shop closes early tdy... better go clear things up... :) blog again soon... yeah... nigel's coming to pick me up later to have dinner :) yeah yeah yeah!!!

Can't wait to see him :)

oh oh oh n i love this pic heez...

a new start...

2007-12-27T04:01:00.000-08:00

ok... so many things have happened... shitty things, bloody things... irritating things... things dat do not allow me to sleep at night...

God is good...

In the midst of all the confusion... he kinda sent me someone i guess...

story goes :

Was doing photography for the twins for their St. Patricks Alumni concert... so yeah... was snapping stuff here and there... :) and their Alumni band played awesomely well.. I brings back memories... i miss the times when i was in the band... I missed playing the drumset, the timpani (i hope dat's the right spelling)...

They had a jazz band after that... after the intermission.. so everyone was enjoying the music and they were pretty awesome... talented bunch... I kinda noticed the guitarist (ok so maybe i have a soft spot for guitarist) hahaz... he looked pretty cool... but anyways i still continued my job taking photos...

After the whole thing, my hand kinda ached... i mean, no kidding when you have to hold the camera from 1pm till like 10pm hahahz... tired...

So, a day after the concert i was talking to the twins, Joshua, and was just commenting about the jazz band, i enjoyed the songs when they played. Den i gave a passing comment saying that the guitarist was cute. Joshua started on the whole oh! his name is NIGEL hahahz den asked me to get to know him. Saw his friendster profile... so i thought i'd just be nice and compliment him on his guitar playing... so we chatted... he asked me send him the photos direct to his msn blah blah blah... then we chatted on msn... one day after chatting w him on msn, he asked if i wanted to accompany him to a concert. Where his RJC alumni band was playing at VCH, i was like ok... i liked band concerts...

Went out,,, i surprisingly had an awesome time w him... I was initially afraid that he might be the quiet kind.. was afraid of awkward silence moments... but there never was one... He was a very very good erm... host? hahaz... made sure i wasn't bored... joked to keepmy spirits up, talked when needed to... kept it simple when needed to...

So after that day, my heart was itching a little... i mean,i really enjoyed his company alot... so was smsing him in the night after i reached home... He said he wanted to meet up w me again soon.

That night we decided we'd watch a movie together hahahz this coming saturday 29 dec. ALVIN AND THE CHIPMUNKS!!! hahaz he remembered that i really wanted to watch that. heez... aaww... i dunnoe if my heart is going soft for him or what... but i should be careful huh... He's a really nice person... but i guess i'd take it step by step... i dun even know him yet.

I might not even like him or fall for him...

But one thing's for sure... i love love love his company...

Oh!!! other than awesome guitar playing, he plays the saxaphone and a little piano and drums hahaz... music is my life...

God, if you hear me... help me...

Love You...

Who are you to tell me...

2007-12-22T19:24:00.000-08:00

you do not f*cking tell me what to do and what to say...

damn pissed with that. I'm blogging about my feelings, if it was meant for you i'd tell you if i want to.
If i don't then too bad for you.

Loser? wtf are you talking about...

Even tho i've a totally 'i dun give a shit about life' image doesn't mean i am.

I just want to be different.

I'm sick and tired of people playing me. taking me for granted. Insulting me just coz i'm diabetic... do you know all the insults i've got? i'm too weak to do anything, i'm not fit for anything, i can't do anything?

well... my shout out to the world...

to all :

I play canoe polo and am loving it
I play the drums and am loving it
I play the piano and am loving it
I play the guitar and am loving it
I skate (tho not v gd) but am still loving it
and my best friend is CYRUS!!!! MY WHITE HUSKY!!!!

Humans disappoint, everyone will always disappoint someone and everyone will disappoint someone... so too bad...
you can only please so many.

I try to please everyone and what do i get in return? nothin... sigh...

what does it mean when i surprise you with floating tea light candles at ur condo's swimming pool that spelt out 'I LOVE YOU'
You saw it from the 23rd level... what did it mean?

what does it mean when you needed something in ur life, in the bloody middle of the night, you had probation, thus i had to run to your place to collect the item from you, then run back down to town to pass it to ur client for you...

When you were hungry at 3am, i ran down to ur place with some home cooked food

When you didn't have enough money to eat, i ran down to pass you some cash for the week

When you told me you had no food at home, no money to go out and buy, I left my work place, giving my boss the excuse that i forgot my meds ran to cold storage to buy a whole load of food, and went to macs to buy your lunch and asked for more shaker fries seasoning coz i knew you liked it... but what did all that mean to you?

when i was free, and you had classes till 3, i accompanied you to school at 9am and waited for you outside all your classes, till you ended school...

and now i'm forgotten

How stupid i have been in love.
I give my all to the one i love
give everything i can give
my policy : do unto others what you want others to do unto you... still stays...
Just that now.. i'm thinking ,,, who is worth doing so much for... when its always not getting any in the end...
I get scolding from my friends for always giving and nv wanting to receive....
i like giving... is that wrong? and i'd feel bad if someone went out of the way to do something for me... sigh...

ok... change of topic... GARY'S SONG IS AWESOME!!!! can i do an mv for you gary? den post it on youtube... i think its going to be awesome... shit... i've been listening to his song non stop everyday hahahaz... Psycho... hahahz

Elton's song as well.. means so much to me... i can relate to both songs... argh... which kinda sucks...
Stay tuned... I'll post the mv up asap and paste the link here... heez...

Oh well... back to work...
Bailey's grandma passed away. Fell down 8 stories coz she was too excited that Lucas and Bailey was on their way home and she saw them downstairs.
I cried when i heard that. It was really sad... poor girl... she was a feisty one. Had a rock chic attitude. I'll miss you Kerry.
We will all miss you...
We also celebrated bailey's birthday, almost the whole family was there. his brothers, his friends... and a birthday cake from secret recepie... mango vanilla cake... each dog had a huge slice each, and i too had my share, tasted awesome hehez...

have you ever felt this way?

2007-12-18T20:25:00.000-08:00

when someone promised you the world,
when someone said they'll love you forever
when someone gave their heart to you
when someone says i love you from now till forever
when someone says they'll nv let you go
when someone says no matter what they'll always love you
when someone tells you to always remember they'll always be there if you need them
when someone says no one can replace you in their heart
when someone tells you no one will ever compare to you
when someone says they'll always pick you up when you fall
when someone promises never to hurt you
when someone promises no matter what they'll wait
when someone says not to leave them coz they can't live without you
when someone says they'll never ever look for anyone else coz no one can be you, you are the one and only...

then....

you realise the very next day, they have someone new with them already...

so what does all that talk mean?
how much weight does it hold?
what does it mean?

NOTHIN..... nothin at all...
shows you how much you mean to that person...

do you know how it feels being nothin?

I'm angry....
I'm sad...
so i guess i'll forget...
forget about you, and all that you've done...
after all your love has gone...

Love sucks when the other person nv truly loved you
when all of it was just an act to get something out of you...

I still love you if u believe it or not... but so many people tell me that its stupid to do so... so i'm letting go... once again this has to happen to me...

Pissed ever so slightly...

2007-12-13T21:36:00.000-08:00

Tell me about it when you get pissed...
I haven't had time to blog for so long, lists to write, errands to run for my bloody pet shop, i seem to do more than anyone is doing. I seemed to be asked to do most of the unrelated things for a pet shop as well... yeah yeah yeah complains of apet shop staff... tell me about it. I do not get paid for my designs.... wtf man...

Yesterday was my first day of classes at the radio academy. It was fun... people from many walks of life. Laywers, polytechnic teachers, interior designers, insurance agents, ERA salesperson. Wow... so yea... i left early from work.

So yeah, when i cam back today. The whole fucking shop was in a mess... tell me about it... Yesterday price tags were tagged wrongly. Coz the day before i was off...
Oreo's cage wasn't cleaned and she was put back in the cage for another night, things were left on the table, jeanie bit and tore almost everything, i was like WTF is wrong with the rest of my staff...

Seriously, am i suppose to spoon feed you what you need to do? I mean common sense right? U duwana sleep in a room when it is not made or the food on the table isn't cleaned.

PERPETUAL STUPIDITY!

Was so pissed this morning. I wasn't feeling well as well due to low blood sugar... therefore thanks for giving me a heart attack on top of that.. sheesh...

Pissed pissed pissed... everyone seems to be thinking for themselves only

SELFISH!!!!!!

design for royston...

2007-10-24T03:40:00.000-07:00

wah liaoz... make him look cool only hahahahahz!!!! oh well....

Random thoughts on a random day... *dreaming away...

2007-10-23T22:54:00.000-07:00

listening to JJ Lin's Yi Qian Nian Yi hou...

i think i wana be a singer... chinese singer... can i make it? coz in asia i can only be a chinese singer... hard to sing english songs... don't have a strong voice either..

Darren S, help me with it? hahahz... wondering if u're still reading my blog. I miss you... where's ur exhibition... anything new? can't wait to see your art work. Come back Spore... let the Straits Times interivew you again. hahhaz.... den i can see your face on our local newspaper... Aussie Artist heez... Hmm... wondering when i will be able to go over to aussie to see you... Have any of my friends been contacting you lately? Heez.. miss you. Lets make some music together when u're here again heez... Coz i so wana be a singer... but how.. in spore... in asia... its hard...

Anyone?!?!? wana be a singer... wana be a singer... crap... i'm day dreaming in a pet shop hahahaz.. ok nvm...

RANDOM....

still....

someone, anyone... care to help?

busy busy busy... its been a while...many things have happened.

2007-10-21T23:00:00.000-07:00

so now i seriously dun have time to blog coz i have alot of things to do at the pet shop...hmm...

Today's monday... alone at the shop. Mondays are usually quiet... so i shall blog den :)

Last week, there was a collie that came to our shop... she was beautiful. Rough Collie long fur, big dog, pretty face.

Loved these collies. Always very calm, mild tempered and cool. Owner didn't know what he wanted, didn't know what to do with her fur, so he just told me he wanted it short and neat. Guess what keith did to the poor dog, the poor family confirm wun recognize their own dog. hahaz.. but she looked damn cute shaven... (ok dat sounds so wrong)

Together with that, there was a temple dog. It had a damn cute chinese name which i have no idea wad it was...i tink it was bo bo...heez... he's got a very sad pitiful looking face. But he was a very very nice dog. Just sits there, wags his tail when you walk near him and never ever barks. So much for being a temple dog... heez...

Other than those two dogs... there was a white... erm... maltese? dunnoe leh.. not sure of this one but looks like... pretty rite? hahahz... cute...

then there was cream... a shih tzu... she was cute... happy dog, playful dog, friendly dog. Runs all over the shop, doesn't make a mess and loves to sit on ur lap. hahahz. After her grooming, i brushed her fur till it was silky soft. felt so good... smooth and soft. Oh my...

Then came Max the Huskey... dumb dumb... just like cyrus... always wants attention... hehez.. was howling over the roof when his owner left... :) together with rosie the boxer...

Later that afternoon, Cosi pet milk came, together with the drinks we ordered... same company. Erm... now we look like a drink store... hahahz check dat out man... i packed the fridge... muahahz...
one for $1.20 sorry no ice no cup.

In the evening there was a collie and a golden retriever. the collie was so pretty. everything was grey with black spots. Half of his face was grey, the other half was black.... and he loves to pull the leash of the GR. So when the owner brings them out for a walk, she only needs to bring one hahahaz... oh well... i guess dat's good.

During the night... we had to move a whole big load of dog food, it was horrible... horrible horrible horrible den... jeanie decided to be funny... she jumped up onto the shelves we were packing... -_-''
and as usual oreo would just be somewhere sleeping... wake up eat then go back to sleep horrible shit...

So... after a hard days work, wad must you do? Sleep rite? that was wad jeanie and bailey did... one on each side of me... horrible... couldn't move out... hahahz
they sleep until so shiok... i also felt like sleeping... sigh...

There was one night, we decided to go dempsy road. oh... the last friday of the school holidays... it was a pretty place. After new yoork new york, we decided to have ben&jerrys at dempsy hill. The place was AWESOME. its like being transported to a whole new place. Too bad it was night time. Couldn't take much photos with my hp cam. too dark. but the ben&jerrys was awesome. So poshy yet... comfty

Bailey got a new snooza bed. Look at how much he's enjoying it... gosh... crap man.. i wish i had a bed in the pet store so dat i can stay and sleep hahahz... See la... just look at that face.... pure content.

Over the weekend, I had to pick out my dresses for my cousin's wedding. Hmm.... figured this would be nice. wadya think? :)

During that weekend, i met a little toy poodle. His name was Nemo... hehez.. i think i'm falling in love with toy poodles... they are so cute and cuddly... gosh gosh... i couldn't help but take my hp out and snap a few pics of the little 5 month old.

My parents went to China for about a week. Mom came back with this. I CAN'T USE THIS!!!!! ITS TOO EXPENSIVE!!!
see the white little balls? they are pearls. See the little golden bits, its really gold, see the transparent gel? its ginseng!!! WTF its a face cream. One pearl for each application... gosh... how can i bare to?!?!? argh.. but i'm doing it, rather than wait till it expires and waste all of it... sigh.. i love you mom... but sometimes really dunid to spend so much money.

I want to dedicate this particular post to Russel. He's and old dog. Just recovered from a strok and suffering from arthritis. Poor dog walks with difficulty, but nevertheless still is happy to see people. The owner was surprised at how comfortable he was in our shop coz that never happened iin other shops. I have God to thank for that. He's 14 years old. Really old for a dog. He still has a pretty face. Can't stand for long coz of his painful joints, so keith had to take particular care of him. But keith was saying he LOVES to stand hehez.. cute little bugger. Owner was talking to me for awhile before she left. She's going london in about a months time. Russel will be put to sleepp them. My heart cracked... but i guess now he's happy. I am about to tear writing this section. He's really a lovable dog, fragile, whn you see him all you want to do is love him and hug him. Such a darling, and he has an amazing set of eyes that look straight at you and just makes ur heart melt. My dear Russel. I will always remember you my dear. I can't remember how much treats i gave him. All i wanted to do was make him enjoy his visit here. Look at him trying to reach for the treat hehez... I'll make sure everyone who reads my blog knows who you are... shit... this is super emo... but he's a darling... always...

my off day at the petshop...

2007-10-07T01:09:00.000-07:00

max max max....
a choc lab in my store...
owner went overseas so I have their house keys...

pretty house... cute doggie..
His name is Max... 1 year 8 months old... he's a very obedient dog... used to fixed timing schedules. 2pm need to shit means need to shit... if not won't shit the whole day till the next day hahaz... He hasn't shit yet. :p die...

He's got light olive coloured eyes.. very pretty... I need to take him out of his house every morning, den bring him back home at night... so dat he can sleep at home... thank God its super near the shop. So walk there and back every time...

Snowy the westie came in today as well... Let her hang around here for awhile coz next week she will also be boarding here... oh well... it always seems to be me looking after the dogs... gosh...
But she's cute and so full of energy... always so happy and that face w the open mouth and wagging tail you can't help but want to hug her... but but she has a little skin problem... oh well its ok... we love the imperfection too ya?

let me introduce you to the whole border collie family...

Diamond the 12 yr old grandfather, when you look at him you can see how majestic he is. His coat is different from the other border collies, its very full ad thick. Gives him a very grand look. But under all the fur, he's a softie, always looking for a pat on the head. When you're with the family, no matter who you pat, Diamond would cut in your path and want a pat for you, he's such a darling.

carrie the dunnoe how many year old grandmother (u didn't hear, girls age are a secret. She packs a mean bite man. A hot chick with an attitude. She makes sure everything runs well in the family.
The cute couple of Diamond and Carrie... heez

Bailey the grandson and jeanie the daughter-in-law to be...

hahahz... kidding...they are mostly in the shop always... accompanying us at work... yup the most lovable and most well mannered dogs u'll ever meet. Jeannie's a little rude at times but she's ok...

then there's a black lab... to hyper to take a picture... and oreo a cat who always loves her space in the shop...

Few days ago there was a silky terrier who came for grooming and a black persian... (looks like something from starwars.... wad's dat species name? they are and wear brown colour clothes with a hoodie and talks giberish hahahz) after the black persian Zachary shaved botak... looks damn cute la!!! hahaz....
But all of us were fascinated with spike... the silky terrier.... happy dog!!! very very happy dog... cutie... we just placed him at the counter and then he'll just wag and wag and wag his tail... heez...

Oh oh... and Keith, our groomer's dog... her name is tara... heez... Look at her...

frisbee time!!!!

2007-09-28T02:19:00.000-07:00

hahaz... wanted to try out playing frisbee with jeannie and bailey... the two dogs in my shop. They're real smart. heez...
so it goes like this...

i throw, they catch, while running back with the frisbee in their mouths, i can choose to tell them drop it and throw another one while they are running back, or wait for them to run back, and they ask them to go round me and throw another one... sometimes they miss the frisbee, it drops on the floor, and they will stay on the frisbee trying to pick it up and bring it back... unless i tell them leave it... and they'll wait for another frisbee from me...

its totally awesome... even i myself had fun. The two of them love playing frisbee... two energetic border collies. hahhaz... alright... want me to add video? next time k? or u can come down take a look heez....

Life is beautiful... with its little surprises

2007-09-27T20:19:00.000-07:00

changes are inevitable... i thank God for friends and even pple i don't know, to give me encouragement... its the small little things dat make a difference...

not too long ago i decided to change my image.... just for fun... heez... boy was it a head turner... :p

wadya think... i know i know...oh well... stop e nagging n let the hair grow back :)

my bday party!!!! i still haven't uploaded the pictures n presents.... ok ok this week k? Don't have the pics in my lappie... will have to use my house desktop :p

- i know we can't be that far from here, coz we're both looking on the same side of the moon

a life of you and me...

2007-09-21T06:07:00.000-07:00

wad once was... is now gone... knowing dat u have someone else... just tears me up inside... i've got nothin left in me... but you...

its been so long...

2007-09-19T02:01:00.001-07:00

up to date...
am now in a pet shop...
working...
and....
this little... not so little... erm... big fat fella is currently being boarded in the pet shop i'm working in... His name is frostie and Samoyed... hahahaz... cutie pie..

ok... he is just so.... argh!!! cute!!! hahahz.... its been so many days since my 21st bday... it was such a memorable day...

I remember my tp friends setting up the BBQ stand, my np friends trying to throw cake on my face... and the lovely twins... joshua played the violin for me. Birthday song... so sweet heez...

I was so touched... ok ok i know.. you all can't wait for the pictures of the day itself and the pictures of my presents right? another day... another post hahahaz... i know... irritating right? ok la... erm.... tml tml... ask benjamin bring his laptop here den i can upload le...hahahz

oh well... time to sign off first... got customer come le...
*buaiz*

HAPPY BIRTHDAY SINGAPORE!!!!

2007-08-09T23:17:00.000-07:00

today's my country's 42nd birthday.... hahaz... and what did i do today...

was suppose to go watch the parade at the esplanade... but gave it a 2nd thought.

Simon asked me over to his place to join his family for a mini feast while watching the parade, we had to buy some stuff to prepare for the 'mini feast' went to doughnut factory to que up for doughnuts... :) 3 hours... (luckily i went to meet simon in the que and waited for an hour hahahahz!

Hhmmm... yum yum...i bought for my skaters... :) reward them for their hard work and training for this years NDP performance... i'll get pictures from them to upload ba... :) yup yup

Look at those doughnuts man... i bought 24 of them... 8 different flavours... yum yum!!! hahaz... high...

And so..i had dinner w simon's family... tried to help him with his homework but to no avail.. *i'm so sorry simon* hehez... but his mom really made good good food!!! i loved her cucumbers in sesame oil n soya sauce. Had half a chicken each and some otah... delicious it was... a little pineapple, and vegetables, nice food, good show (NDP) wad more can i ask for?

We had arranged to meet up (me and the skaters) to watch RUSH HOUR 3.
So went to PS to meet them, had dinner... We had this delicious beef noodles... it was good... the chilli was hot enough

During the movie... we had our doughnuts... hehez... yum yum... it was a good movie..,. full of bullshit... full of lame ass jokes... anyone who watches it will definitely enjoy it :)

We took pictures!!! hahaz.... for Daniel's sake... Daniel u better thank all of them who were so sporting and all who loves you coz they wanted you to be part of the fun as well...

For Daniel With Love.... the skaters... heez...

just look at these 3 little things we were sitting down one corner waiting for the photographer to get the camera ready hahahhaz!!! thenso happen the ladies sat down first :)patiently waiting... hahahaz...

"so u have to do it like this so that the batter mixes well, after that you add the peanut butter, and mix slowly" hahaz... angela seems like she's teaching the girls how to mix a cake batter well man... doesn't she.

the guys were bored... and so... they discovered the shape ritual... called... "DRAWING THE CIRCLE" done to waste and pass time while waiting for something to happen, these rituals have never been caught on pictures before... as you can see... they seem to be using high levels of concentration at drawing these circles... it takes a great load of skill to perfect this art

waiting for movie... waiting for POPCORN!!!!

wad e hell is elieen doing hahahz...we were bored...i was even more bored in office doing the editing of this photo...

look at the two of them... hahahz.. they were taking forever to adjust the camera... our mouths were really tired.. after the whole thing... sigh

royston's long lost brother... he finally found him.hahahaz...

the time.... passing so slowly... when will they be ready to take our picture...

still waiting...

and more waiting....

damn it how long more dudes!!!... argh!!!!

National Day eve... 8th aug

2007-08-09T23:05:00.000-07:00

after work... was feeling damn bored.. damn frustrated... damn sick n tired of life...
Jo wanted to go hang out... thus... met up w him and some of his friends... and we went to 'Bottoms up' at clark quey.

Two bottles of martel... was enuff to kill, we did have a good time... but overdose can be bad at times.. sneaked back home at 5.30... almost got scared coz i heard something downstairs...only to realise, my bro came back not too long after me... dat was such a cute scene. Oh well... alcohol never takes your worries away... that's for sure.. i never believed in that.. always thought it was a waste of money... i just decided to go with them to take my mind off stuff... have some fun and nothing else... didnt' think we'd stay till dat late... thank God the next day was a public holiday... no work... slp in late.. hahahahz..

SLEEP!!!!!!!

keeping myself safe...

2007-08-08T01:19:00.000-07:00

I understand how u feel now... i finally realised...

its fear, yet it doesn't consume you... its hurt, yet it doesn't drown you, its a nightmare, yet its your choice if u wana wake up or not.............

i feel it too...

i wana be loved, i want someone to hold me in their arms, whisper in my ear ' i'll nv let you go ' , kiss my forehead before i sleep every night, cook for me when i'm hungry,take care of me when i'm feeling sick, cheer me up when i'm feeling down. make me smile...

i use to think someone could and would do that for me... i found someone who could make me smile... but after awhile i felt dat i was taken for granted. i felt that...every little thing was my fault... i still feel that way. My dear, i did almost everything for you... but u nv appreciated. i just needed to talk to you, but you screamed at me, coz apparently i agitate you, apparently i piss you off... go enjoy your game then, go enjoy your friends. i shall not be that burden to you anymore, u shall be free from all that is me... that's wad you want rite? You've been treating me cold... treating me like HE use to... happy, den be nice... not happy the FU*K off...

then, my ex came back, said he wanted to be back with me... but i soon found out that he already has a gf... wtf... i felt so lied to, felt so cheated... felt so..." i'm just your 'just in case' girl " who am i to him? He talks about how much he wants me back, that he's thinking of me daily, that he cries everytime he watches our video.I felt important to him... tho i still don't dare go back to him. lets take it slow, it might go somewhere, it might not... no promises... but i was played. There was another girl... So why worry? if he doesn't get me back... he still has her... right?

Love is too much to take...now i understand how you feel my dear... i don't want to feel pain anymore, i don't want to feel like shit anymore, being myself, being alone, i have my friends around me...they may not be close friends, but at least i don't have to bother so much, and expect anything. I won't be disappointed. Neither would i disappoint anyone... for now... I'll be this way...i understand how you feel and wad u're doing... coz i'm doing the same... maybe next time, maybe in a long long time...when someone really thinks i mean something to him...and shows me dat i do... then...

maybe...

just maybe...

i will consider...

for now... its just me myself and i against the whole wide world...

*i still miss you.... but i dont...

to a friend, from a friend, by a friend.

2007-08-06T19:56:00.000-07:00

Was at the airport yesterday w caron and royston, and elieen, and angela, and valerie, and ben...and of course... my dumb little daniel... *act cute* but really not cute* but i think he's cute* but he says he's not cute... blah blah blah... ok i'm being irritating.

Last time seeing him... sob sob... for a year, actually more dan a year. I'll go look for u *bleargh* He is so going to enjoy himself there... *jealous* HMPH!!! I want pictures!!! i want pressies heez... hahahaz...

I'll see you soon. Meanwhile you take care k? we will all miss you... the lappie case is just a small gift. No obligations my dear... wad are friends for... this is the way i treat my friends... :) If i get the chance la... hahahaz...

God bless...

oh and just some random shit... was in the sky train... decided to steal one of royston's slipper hahahahahz... see see see... for fun...

happiness was only an arms length away...

2007-08-04T21:49:00.000-07:00

Corrine May :: All that i need

I'm sorry that I hurt you
I took for granted all you gave so freely to me
I prayed it's not too late
To save you from a broken heart
To promise you I'll make a brand new start
Believe me when i say

*You are all that I need
The only treasure I see
You're the air that helps me breathe
through the darkest night
When I fall down on my knees
I was blind but now I see
You are all that I need*

When no one far from perfect
Like a child that needs a guiding hand
Can you stay here with me
I finally understand
You've always been the missing part
Complete the jigsaw puzzle of my heart
Please hear me when i say

Please let me hear your voice again
Let me hear you say your love will never end
That whatever it takes you'll be there
When I say

Fly away ::
You can fly so high
Keep your gaze upon the sky
I'll be prayin every step along the way
Even though it breaks my heart to know we'll be so far apart
I love you too much to make you stay
Baby fly away

Sweet sweet lyrics that reminds me of you... I regreted not paying enough attention to you... i regretted trying to ease someone else's pain than yours... Baby, forgive me... i know that we will never be again, ur feelings have gone, mine's still here. Because its still here... its eating me from inside, its killing me day by day, evern so slowly, how long till I feel well again. How long...

Xander... this is for you... this post is for you. Everything that i want to say and will say is here. It'll always be here.

I miss you... I still love you. I'm sorry for caring about what someone else is feeling, and neglected you. It breaks my heart that we can't try again. I guess i deserve it. Yes, I get jealous when I see happy couples outside. Not their fault, but mine alone. Happiness is so hard to find. When I found it, I didn't hold on to it tightly enough.

Stupidly enough... I'm stubborn... I'm stubborn for something worthwhile... is that wrong? I know u've told me not to wait coz its impossible... its never going to happen again (sounds familiar daniel?) hahaz... but same ans... i'll wait... waiting for my happiness is worth it... but if it doesn't come its ok.... i know... i'm ready... den i guess i won't be happy then :)

i'd rather be alone dan be with someone else other dan u...

erm erm.... i like them.... so wad?!?!?

2007-08-02T01:06:00.000-07:00

went a little crazy yesterday, was feeling kinda high... ok... so i think more visuals would be better for a blog... sometimes reading too many words makes one fall asleep... went out w daniel and gang.. who is daniel? this is him... the japanese crazy freak... hahaz

tho i only recently got to know him... he's full of shit... and full of fun. A great friend to have... as in awesone... DANIEL!!! you've got to teach me how to drift in an auto car hahahz!!! manual i still can't get it right yet hahahaz!!! Yes yes we were drifting in a 7 seater car!!! at upper paya lebar road... i was like WTF!!! high....
He's always smiling... always crapping, and always talking about japan. heez... ma homie!!! hahaz...

Yesterday went out with Ben, angela, valerie, Joshua and Josiah, royston, elieen, and of course Daniel... ate some japanese food for lunch... (daniel going japan le... still eat japanese food hahahahz) den we went our own way for awhile... i bought some really cute erm... undies... hahahaz... and i got an awesome hair cut!!!

my attitude undies... na na...

and lets see... i love my hair cut tho i think i want to touch it up myself hehez... yeah yeah....!!!!
check it out dudes...

one of my friends had this very very cute tissue paper packet... we were like at the coffee shop and we decided to use it... hahahz... totally we rule...

cool right? hahahz... its like..'hello this is our table... so dun u dare take it hahahahz'...

had a great time yesterday... daniel loved cyrus when he saw him hehez... he fell in love w cyrus...(so gay) ok kidding daniel... but cyrus is to die for... i love him to bits...my dumb dumb doggie... hehez... hey... i love anything dat has fur and moves yes yes... anything... hehez... cats and dogs...

Hey Dannie boy, these two pictures are dedicated to you...since u like my doggie so much :) He'll miss you too... not everyone dares to play with him like dat.. i'm so sure he had so much fun yesterday :)

hehez.... yeah... and a cat picture i took with my hp... hehez... love my phone... can someone help me with my mms settings and all... hahahz sob sob... such a noob at electronics... :(

and my friend's really cute lip balm...i was like 'wad the...' are there descriptions like dat? hahaz... and we were chilling in my friend's car (with a totally awesome sun roof) driving along town and holland and all... he's another one of those hell drivers... buckle up people when you're in his car... hahaz (speaking from experience)

lip balm advicing u to do lots of kissing :

and the lovely sight from my friends car at sunset...
*don't judge a book by its cover...

Work work... nothin but work...sigh

2007-08-02T00:37:00.000-07:00

in the month of July, we suddenly had an influx of shoots to do... Hewlett packard, KFC etc etc... took some photos of production... i even had to sit in as a talent for KFC...goshies....

HP:

film reels... hahahz nice nice pictures...

and Huron my dear dear friend who was the talent for this advert... 60 TAKES!!!! of the same actions... i'm sorry my friend...

the set was in our studios... it looked amazing when we turned off the lights... :)

AND NOW>>> KFC>>>>
at the kfc restaurant... heez...

you can see roszali pouring the oats... nice try dude... hahahaz

sentosa with the guys...

2007-08-02T00:22:00.000-07:00

the stupid things i do for friends... a friend had a subject which required him to organise events... thus an outing in sentosa... i thought alot of people would be there... so i gave him my support... i went...

when i got there... hhmm... lets just say... it was unexpected... i was the ONLY girl!!!
there was leonard, jeson, partick (which was the organizer) Jo, egg, vincent, and me... later in the evening xiao bai joined us...n coz we decided to take a walk in a cemetry... hahahaz... dat's the way to have fun rite? u only live once... nonsensical blogging is also another way, i mean hey... its fun... so share it... :)

it was pretty boring... while the rest were playing beach volleyball and soccer, some of us decided to chill... and that's wad we did the whole day...

the sunset was nice tho... hehez...

after dinner and all... we went to vivo city to wait for xiao bai... he drove... hehez...but there was one problem... 8 people into a 5 seater car... it was fun... lets all SQUEEZE!!!!! hahahahz...
so lets see... xiao bai was the driver, leonard since he was... not so small hahaz... sat in the front seat... and the rest were behind... Jeson on patrick, vincent on egg, me and jo squeezed on one small seat. see see...

hahahz
patrick was sun burnt... *red red lobster!!*

egg was bouncing trying to have a good time... Xp i shall say no further...

had a good time... had a scary fun time as well... hahaz... ok well...experience... :p this is one of the reason why i prefer going out with guys... doing stupid things without thinking... girls...hhmm... too much calculating... on money, friends and boys and everything else... gosh...

urban overnight skating from east coast to OCH...

2007-08-01T23:11:00.000-07:00

it was fun... was feeling down thus decided to go for the overnight skating with a bunch of my friends...

the road after east coast was hell.... crap man... it seemed like it wasn't going to end... took about 2 hours to skate to changi village... and after that we couldn't feel out legs...decided to sit at the market to eat something before going on our little adventure to Old Changi Hospital. The well known place for many hauntings. hahahaz...

mum mum time!!!

while they were eating... i sat somewhere chilled out myself... it was nice to e alone in the middle of the night... hahahz... oh well...

during the skate to Changi Village... i kinda hitched a ride in one of my friend's mini cooper hahahahahz!!! the interior was awesome...

and so... we waited for our scouts to let us know if the coast was clear to go up to Old Changi Hospital... hahaz... slalom at the bus stop... in the middle of the road... yes... we were nuts...
stupid xander w his peace sign in the camera...

yeah yeah.... a world of our own hahahaz...

a is for apple

2007-07-11T01:41:00.000-07:00

Was walking home from the mrt yesterday, reached the park near my house.
Saw this paper bag on the bench... couldn't resist it...thought it was kinda corny. took my hp out and took a picture of it.... look... nice? i like it as it is...

then... APHONIA... a friend's band, was suppose to help them design their image logo kinda thing... ok i know the font sucks they haven't exactly given me any particular font, and was in office so... only had limited fonts to play with... wadya think.. i like the image, its my office's desktop wallpaper hehez... yeah...

i really like it alot... now going to do for them another idea that they have... me designer... *sigh* they say wad, i give wad to them hahahahz.... i don't mind. like the kick out of doing it... sigh...

i know... this is a v random post. I'm bored in office... me going to upload more pictures soon.

Darren Sylvester... i'm going to melbourne in august i hope... and i'm so going to see your exhibitions... send me ur catalogue and where all your exhibitions are held... u better come pick me up from the airport!!! hahaz... no matter how busy you are... *kidding* miss you loads my dear artistic friend... hope to hear from you soon... If i ever do go to melbourne, we go chill if you have the time k? when u doing ur world tour thingy again, or wadever u call it, let me know too hehez... *muackz*

listen to my song, which only the wind understands...

2007-07-05T20:42:00.000-07:00

choices... desperate choices
irrelevant choices... meaningless choices...

what does it take to choose... where you wana go, what you wana do...

listen to my song which only the wind understands...
but when it does, it will be carried away... far far away, for who will listen to it again, no one knows... only the one who catches the song in the wind... will hear... without the wind, they'll never understand.

You hear my song... but do u understand wad it speaks of?

no...

You will never understand it...

what the wind brings, comes and goes... like the tides along the shore... always changing, moulding the shore to what it is today.
Each wave may seem meaningless, random, but each wave plays its part, even tho short lived, its duty carried out.

Just like the waves, so is the wind, ever changing, ever moving, the only time its still is when life itself stops... I can't stop, not for anything... if i stop... my life stops... if i wait for you, i'm afraid i won't have time left for myself.

All i have is here and now... the wind is blowing, i need to move, where the wind blows, my song follows... it won't stop. It can't stop...

Listen to my song while you can... if you lose it, you won't get to hear it again. Treasure what you have in your grasp, but many a times we grab more than what we can hold on to.

Dont hyperventilate....

breathe... each breath should bring life... should bring meaning... bring a smile... to know dat u're alive is a good enuff reason to smile... :)

Smile for me, so dat i may see, for as the wind passes ever so quickly, as dat of emotions... they too come and go... smile for me... for the song dat i sing is in the wind and its for you...

an impossible choice....

2007-06-21T18:53:00.001-07:00

how do you choose between the one you love and the one who loves you...

its like... what is it like... i can't find no comparison to put it with.

Its like asking me to do film, but do a documentary... i ain't saying documentaries are bad...

but its my passion for something and what is the keeping the passion alive.

what it takes to be me...

2007-06-20T22:20:00.000-07:00

alot of shit...

pictures speak louder dan words. Visual communication, captivating the sense of sight.

what do we look at... bright colours? strange objects? uncommon circumstances?
what the hell am i suppose to do for a film!!! argh... fantasy fantasy...

- a blur
- a sense of belonging
- something impossible
- magic

------> Huron...
hahaz... met this fella for the first time two days ago. A great kid. Amazing talents, full of creativity. He makes me smile, he makes me happy, he intrigues me, he makes me wonder. There's something about him, something in his eyes, something in his smile, he makes me wonder.

What makes him tick, he seems so full of life, so full of passion, so full of love. Nothin seems to trouble him, nothing seems to worry him or hold him down, there's no hesitation when he speaks, always freely, always carefree. But yet i sense hesitation. I sense something not fulfilled, something that he wants to do, but hasn't done, something in him dat says its not over yet, there's more....

He intrigues me... i wana know more... will you allow me to? He makes me wonder... how can life be so simple yet under the simplicity, it actually is very complicated. We complicated things to simplify them yet simplicity is very fond of complications. We think alot... too much in fact to make things simple.

Why?

Why can't things be simple. I wish it was, i wish i had wad he had... fun, carefree... the simple passion for something which can lead to so many other things...

*psst, i'm practicing the shuffle... still not good at it hahahahz... give me more time :)

I wish my life was carefree... what does it take to be me? i dunnoe.

Guts? will power? (to live) patience? tolerance? passion?...

I need a reason to live... now i don't have any yet... where is he? who will it be... will there ever be anybody? will you give me a reason to live?

I need God... i need him back badly... why is life complicated by humans? why can't it be simple... why can't there be undying unselfish love? why do so many of them wish for more. more than what is needed to survive? they take for granted the essence of life, the meaning of life, the gift of life.

Such a precious gift it is. I cry sometimes, when i see people fighting amongst each other, i cry sometimes when i walk down the street. Looking at all the amazing things God has created. So amazing... how amazing He is... think of the complexity of living things. The way the plants are formed, the circle of life. So perfect, so precise. God is amazing, i stand in awe and wonder of His creations. I look at them and say "oh my... oh my... how can anyone ever plan out such amazing things, how can anyone create such amazing things... only God."

Hasn't anyone ever thought of things these way? No? all people think about is what they have and what they want... they don't give a sh*t about what others want, or what God has given to them. I know its hard to see... but its simple when you stop thinking about yourself...

Its sad... and i cry... i cry coz i see so much hate, so much greed, so much anger... why do humans complicate things... maybe i'm too emotional... but am i really? is life really that complicated or do we just complicate things, when it is actually in fact so simple... I don't understand how people can be filled with so much hate. A lady can just push everyone away so dat she can get up the bus first, and if she doesn't, she gives you the look. What gives? i mean, firstly its not her bus, 2ndly, does it make you feel good? i really wonder what those people are thinking... can you tell me?...

Life is about Love... without it, we wouldn't be alive... think about it... think about the people around you... what they have done for you and what you have done to them...

my life as a bedtime story

2007-06-18T21:23:00.001-07:00

i have ever thought of doing a short film about my life.

No

not the typical 'in my life and my sad sob love story' and all to make people cry and aaawww....

hhhmmm... me... i'm a diabetic.
what are the shits that i go through.
I hate the illness, i hate the things i need to do to keep myself alive. I need to jab at least 5 times a day. Every time half an hour before food, and 1 before bed. Before doing the jabs, i need to test my blood.

I use to do all these without fail when i was young. Now... i don't ever do my blood test. just jabs. Sick and tired of needless.
i like piercings.
But i get scolded for doing them. Why? coz i heal slow, and infection may set in during that time, and i may get gangrene which leads to amputation. But i like... but i can't do it. haiz...

I have this thing about me. Because i have a handicap, i wana prove to myself and everyone around me that i'm capable. I can be like everyone else, or even better. But how long can it last? How long can i last on this earth... how long will my happiness last?

One of my happiness left me... coz it didn't understand wad i needed, it didn't understand my life, yet it played with my life... it played cruelly and expected me to still love it... what is life.... i don't know anymore... is happiness really real? is it really worth fighting for?...

Where has God gone as well... hhhmm... i think it'll be a good film hahahz... but i don't want it to be too typical... i need special touches to it... but how...

think think think xandra .... THINK!!!

inspired by inspiration

2007-06-18T00:27:00.000-07:00

was out with a friend last night... he wanted to go for a drive... had a great talk with him. Always had.

Nicholas my dear dear friend... thank you so much for all your encouragement and advice and support.
Some how this bugger of a friend keeps me going. They way he thinks intruiges me, makes me look at life differently.
I realise with him, there are so many things I still do not know.

Now at work, was looking for wardrobe the 1st half of the day, Xander was telling me dat a friend is in hospital, maybe I'll go visit him tml after work. Now I'm typing this blog. Nic, for you man... ahahz you asked me why i didnt wana keep a blog, i said i didn't wana let my life be someone else's bedtime story, he told me, it doesn't have to be... i can write short fictional stories, i can write anything i want and keep it there. For my short films, for my inspiration, for my future reference... i think dat's cool. i highly doubt anyone would be interested in reading any of my blog entries as well... if there are, den good for me...

but i need inspiration as well... now where do i look for dat... hhmm...

NICHOLAS!!!!!!!!!!